Author Archives: essiep

Semi-detached, and crocuses.

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10°C, sunny, then rain.

Ever had that feeling: that you suddenly aren’t really there. Or that the world was going on as normal but it didn’t feel that way, it was playing itself like a videotape, but you weren’t flowing along with it.Somehow, you are just concentrating on clinging on.  I did for a while this lunchtime; it was odd enough for me to feel quietly alarmed. Maybe I was just a bit tired, but the feeling was unusual, like those semi-surreal moments that Murakami describes in his books. I had to concentrate on every motion, every routine action as if they were completely new and unfamiliar. Later, normality came back. I still don’t know where it went for those few hours. Don’t do that again.

Out for the evening, happy birthday Trish.

Fridge

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10°C, NE winds, clearing, c=51 miles

I have:a fridge, it will take some installing- it was origonally part of a fitted kitchen- you know the sort where you can’t tell which door has a refrigerator behind it. On its own though, the fridge is quite industrial looking, so I’m going to use the cupboard thing that it came in. However, it will need some wood-work to install it. Recycling.
Seasonal: I am sneezing and have itchy eyes. The only plants doing anything right now are some harmless flowers and the willows are sporing. They will have to take the blame.

The bird is nearly wound up.

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10°C, same dry greyness, some breaks

Same again: :these kids shine; treat carefully

Trouser-fit: I have trousers that fit. You don’t know what a novelty that is, one shop in the world now stocks 34" waist x 36" inside-leg, Gap. Now the legs reach to the top of my shoes instead of the top of my socks. Though they are now two weeks old, the novelty hasn’t worn off yet. Neither has the novelty of a winter coat that is slightly too big. Last weekend, I bought 2 shirts that are also slightly too big. That was more deliberate though; on the days I cycle to work, my neck is thicker. That means buying too-big a shirt despite the protestation of the shop staff. It is a bizarre fact that men’s shirts are sold by neck size. Sizes
are in the habit of being rather bizarre. Bicycles frames- same. Hats, same.

How are you doing?

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8°C, same weather again, but wind makes it colder

Reviews: these student interviews are a treat. A point in my job where I can sit with the most wonderful people and ask them : how are you doing?
they are committed to answer, I listen; we eat chocolate and tick boxes.
If only it wasn’t quite so tiring, if only I wasn’t so totally spent this evening. I could then really relish the conversations had with these inspiring people. This whelming malaise has washed out the thoughts I would have entertained this evening.
Goodnight.

Hope is lost

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10°C, cloudy, dry and N winds- same as yesterday.

A strangely easy week this; perhaps in lieu of tomorrow.

Hope is lost: for the world. Four VI-form girls drove to the supermarket across the road today at lunchtime. A trip less of than 1/3 of a mile. You might be thinking "how lazy", but in practice it was not. If they were lazy they’d choose the easiest and quickest way to get there. I beat them in both directions by walking. They only had a few lunch snack packets to carry; they were, all four of them able-bodied. Yet they compressed themselves into a tiny car and probably spent most of the journey standing at the lights waiting for green.
Their real motive remains hidden. When I have some clue, I’ll mention it here.

Complicité: Shun-kin

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8-12°C, good forecast.

London: a trip to the theatre. Entirely performed in Japanese, with minimal sets that seemed to combine stage design of Brecht and traditional Japanese music
(Nõ). The first 40 mins took a bit of work to plough through for me, but after that, I was in. It became an intimate emotional experience, the language was no problem- taken care of by translations displayed on the wall. Would that I knew even basic Japanese. Anyway, full stars or whatever accolades you like, stuff like this makes cinema seem weak.